Thursday, January 15, 2015

Pondering Paul's Rules

Paul and Diane arrived just after 3 PM yesterday afternoon.  By 4:30 Paul had left and Diane was in bed trying to get some rest and fight off Her worsening cold.  i was left alone trying to process what had happened in the last hour and a half.

The early casual and innocuous conversation which included some minor teasing by the two of them suddenly turned into a more formal "meeting" to go over what Paul termed "ground rules."  The three of us were gathered around the island in our kitchen, Paul seated between the two of us.  i was to his right with Diane snuggled up close to him on the other side.  When Paul suggested i get a pencil and paper to take notes i knew this wasn't going to be a discussion.  i was there to listen.

For a brief moment i wanted to speak up.  i wanted to say "hold on a minute" or something that would shift the balance of power that was establishing itself so suddenly.  But i didn't.  i suppose it's my submissive nature, my personality, my DNA, who knows.  Before i knew it, Diane had already retrieved a pad of paper and a pencil and slid it in front of me.

Paul began by saying that for this to work, it had to be enjoyable and emotionally fulfilling for all three of us and "Not just you terri."  He made a point to say that in his opinion enjoyment and fun were two different things.  "There might be times where this isn't much fun, especially for you and I can understand that."  i was still smarting from how firmly he took control of this casual meeting, yet i understood what he meant.

Before he went over ground rules, he first wanted to talk about his relationship with Diane.  He firmly stated that it wasn't nor would it ever be his intent to take Diane away from me.  "It's not what She wants and it's not what I want, so that is one thing you don't have to worry about."  It was nice to hear and comforting since he said it with such conviction.

The next part of our meeting was very uncomfortable for me and i sensed the same from Diane.  Paul addressed the kinky side of their play.  i knew Diane enjoyed being submissive to Paul, i just never realized to what extent.  Now i knew.  "Diane's my submissive when I'm with Her, and only at times I specify.  you'll need to get comfortable with that.  It's all safe.  I do nothing to Her that She's not comfortable with.  She has a safe word.  I want you to know this ahead of time."  Of course, i'm paraphrasing here, but that was the gist of what he was telling me.  i was surprised and shocked.  i looked at Diane but didn't make eye contact with Her.  She suddenly looked so submissive with Her head down and eyes lowered.  Again, i said nothing and Paul quickly moved to his ground rules.

He told me i should write these down and if there was anything that wasn't clear to ask questions now.

In summary, here are Paul's rules.

  • When the three of us are together both Diane and i are his submissives.  i have to obey them both, but his orders take precedence over Hers.
  • i will need to come up with a safe word. 
  • Unless we are in a public setting, i will always address him as "Sir."
  • When the three of us are together i must always be in chastity and he will determine if i am allowed out of it.  At all other times, that's up to Diane.
  • i am to send him a copy of the daily chastity report i send to Diane.
  • i cannot have regular intercourse with Diane.  (This one stung a little when he joked that this shouldn't be a big problem since Diane had already shared with him that it had been years since i'd been allowed inside her anyway.)
  • Absolute discretion.  ("I want it as much as you guys do.")
  • No sex with others.  None at all.  ("That means no Jake.")
  • If I don't agree with these ground rules then things will revert back to the way they were.  He and Diane will continue to see each other the way they have been.
  • If I agree, then it's a total commitment.  No picking and choosing what I want and don't want.
  • Once this starts, any of us can put an end to it at any time.  No questions asked and no hysterics.  We have the right to walk away.
  • There could be other rules that might be added, but they would be minor in nature.
Paul wrapped up the discussion be saying he didn't want an answer today.  He wanted me to take my time and think about it.  "Take at least a week.  After a week, let me know if you've made a decision.  But no more than two weeks" he said assertively.   He stated that he and Diane had discussed these ahead of time and She was in full agreement with all of them.

He asked if i had any questions and i said no.  It was all pretty clear and i didn't really feel like talking.  i was probably too embarrassed.  i should have said something sooner.  Much sooner.  But the most startling and unnerving revelation of the whole afternoon was about to come.

"I really want to make this work.  I want to please the both of you, but my pleasure is also important"
he said.  "You're lucky to have Diane.  You have no idea how hard She's worked to get to this point.  I've read your blog so I think I understand your needs.  I believe this can be enjoyable.  For all of us."

When he said he knew about the blog i felt sick to my stomach.  It was an awful feeling.  i looked at Diane and again She was looking away.  i felt betrayed.  This blog is where i bared my soul and shared my innermost feelings, fantasies, kinks, etc.  Now he knew everything, or had access to all of it.

Paul obviously sensed my shock and told me to "Relax.  It's all safe.  It was important that I understand."  He ended the meeting by telling me to take my time to think about all he'd brought up.

The meeting formally ended when he took Diane by the hand and led Her to our bedroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Naturally, it was a very emotional evening for both Diane and i.  Very testy at times. We both said things we shouldn't have. There were apologies.

i've got lots to process.  Not the least of which is how i can go about blogging the way i always have.  There's been a set of eyes peering in on and studying this blog.  And not just any set of eyes.  They belong to my Wife's lover.


sissy terri


  1. In my opinion, you are very lucky. Most of us hide our inner most feelings, for fear of rejection by those that love us, yet you have not only your wife, but another that wants to not only learn the real you, but promises acceptance. You are truly fortunate.

  2. *jaw drops, wow, that's a significant betrayal of confidence (and no, not safe for you, nor necessary for him to understand)


    Sadly your blog was a favorite read, but now I suppose it will disappear like so many others that have been inappropriately revealed, at the very least no longer the uncensored nature it formerly was, my condolences to you, thank you for your amazing posts up 'till now, and best wishes however you move forward!

  3. terri,

    This post isn't at all what I was expecting. You're a very smart lady and I'm sure you know what I'm about to tell you, but I'm going to say it anyway. The fact that Diane told Paul about the blog says a couple of things to me: 1) She wants Paul to know exactly what he's getting in to. And apparently he does and he's interested, which is good. 2) The pecking order in Diane's mind is goes Paul, Diane, then you. The fact that she would tell Paul about the blog and agreed to cut you off from Jake without consulting you should tell you the same thing. How does that make you feel? Diane being submissive in the bedroom to Paul is one thing. Deferring to him on all matters (including you and your life) is another matter altogether. Diane clearly wants to be submissive to Paul and you thought you were married to the leader. How does that make you feel? It seems to me like Diane has given the power over to Paul without your consent. As an outsider I'm very concerned for your emotional well being and your marriage long term. Are you willing to share more about what was said between you and Diane when you were alone? I understand if you don't want to do that because Paul will see it.

    I know that you don't know me except for my blog. But I'm offering you friendship if you'd like to talk privately. You can always e-mail me at:

    -best boy

  4. Wouldn't get your panties all in a twist about this. Paul's right. Your wife put tons of work into appreciative.


  5. Are you taking Paul's family into consideration?

  6. Wow Terri...that must have been a very difficult afternoon. My first thoughts were similar to Randy's but I think that was mostly because of the shock I felt and the element of surprise. Yes, it's a betrayal but after having followed your blog for all these years, I don't see how it was done with any malice by Diane. Perhaps Paul wants you to continue to share your feelings in the exact same way you always have. Diane told Paul about the blog and no one else I presume. He has her trust. It's also not too late to ask him questions before you make any rash decisions, about going through with this or about the blog.

    Take the time you need. I'm sure many readers have your well being in mind



  7. You certainly have a lot to process. The fact that you had a testy conversation with Diane and that there were apologies is a sign of that. Are you two OK now? I think once you process it all, you will realize that this is the best for all three of you. Even including blogging the way you always have even though you know he will read it. That should make you even more of a sissy cuckold. I think once you make the commitment, you will feel your life is in a better place. Looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts. A sissy cuckold couldn't ask for a better life. Go For It.


  8. teri, all we know of you is what you write here. However, from what you write here, I have to agree with some of the points Miss made. First of all, revealing your blog was a terrible breach of trust. That would be like taking Diane's diary, if she has one, and printing copies for others to read. Second, agreeing to no sex for you period without consulting you is another. And the no sex with Jake is completely ignoring your needs. These are matters that should have been discussed before hand between the two of you, not dictated to her by Paul. Paul told you "how hard Diane had worked to get to that point." I hate to say it but it sounds like the two of them, or at least Paul, are, as the saying goes, "trying to pee down your back and convince you its' raining." Like Miss, even though I don't know you, I worry about you and I'm afraid you are heading for a bad crash.

    Anon posting at 2:05 mentioned Paul's family. You've mentioned in the past Paul is married and this is NOT good. Unless his wife knows everything he is doing already, she is eventually going to find out and she will not be happy about it. He cannot hide it forever. What happens then? Does this violate any morals clause at their work that could cause both to lose their jobs and deprive Paul's family? Will his wife find out your secret and spread it all over? One of my wife's rules is, except under certain circumstances, she will not have sex with married men. As she puts it, she doesn't need to borrow anyone's troubles.

    I know it's hard for you since much of Paul's demands are what you want. However, I don't think you are going to enjoy everything including watching him dominate Diane. teri, it's your decision and I don't envy you making it but you said in the notes, "We have the right to walk away." Personally, I would take a red marker and write NO in the middle of the page of notes and "walk away."

  9. Sissy Terri
    Dont write scripts. Think and be sure this is what you want.It appears to me you have a reasonable and sane dom. Say yes now and you can always change your mind.


  10. Hmmmm. I feel like I should chime in here terri, having gone down a similar path. But mine happened differently. So I feel ill equipped to hand out advice. Only you know what your soul requires. Think on it and your honest feelings will surface. Then do what you think is best. I'll be thinking of you as you contemplate your near term future.



  11. Terri, the genie is out of the bottle and as a submissive sissy, this is your dream come true. Revealing your blog to Paul was a way for Diane to educate Paul about her sissy husband's desires. This is not something that would be easy to explain.
    Also, I agree that you should have no choice in seeing anyone else for every one's safety. Paul may have plans to plant his seed in Diane's sissy wife. I'm very surprised that Diane ever allowed you to see Jake. I hope you accept their terms and enjoy your new role. Good luck.

  12. Darling Terri,
    Yes this is a tough call - and most of comments above do make sense. Hard to give advice.. Personally I'd want slightly more clarification of your "role" and participation, if you are to give up Jake or any other potentiakl contacts. Although you are at bottom of list, you still can have a voice.
    Very disturbed about the breach of trust re this blog. I love reading about your wife. Will this change ??

    Good Luck darling !!

    Love Sissy Tanya

  13. This blog has gone, and is going, in directions I feel not so good about. Best wishes. I, for one, am checking out and signing off.

  14. Pretty hot rules, Terri. A couple of Mistress's lovers found out about the blog. Some read it regularly, others really did not want to look inside our heads. But it certainly does amp up the level of communication, and potential domination, when a cuckolder knows what you are thinking. On the other hand, it also may cause you to hold things a little closer to your vest.... or panties, depending on your personal tastes.

    Hope you enjoy this new turn of events, and keep us all posted.


  15. Obviously the cuck and sissy life aren't for everyone, and I consider myself among those people. I just don't think I could ever allow my wife's heart (or body) to be taken and enjoyed by another man. There are times when I will daydream and fantasize about what it would be like to watch my wife receive sexual pleasure from another man. I get aroused and then very quickly come to the realization that it would be awful after. I'd feel like I was paving a road to hell in marriage .... and this post is a good description of the destination.

    All that being said, I do know that this very scenario is a dream come true for a lot of men, and if it is for you terri, all I can be is genuinely thrilled for you, and I am. How lucky are we to have found someone else (others in your case) to play the roles we have for them in our fantasies?

  16. Dear Terry, Please don't ever stop writing this blog. I envy the position you are in, I know it is what you want. I think the future will have you more of a part of both of them. Paul will take the place of Jake you'll see. I love your blog and read it every day since I discovered it. Best wishes ronnie

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  18. Terri,

    No one knows Diane like you do. Like everyone else, I'm making assumptions here about her, you and Paul. Trust your judgement here, and take all the time you need doing it.

    I love this blog and hope that this latest turn of events doesn't bring it to an end or change the way it is written.

    Best of luck to both of you.


  19. I've enjoyed your blog for a long time and both Mistress and I have envied several aspects of your life but not any more.

    Even though I'm Mistress's sissy, the breach of trust would be a deal breaker for me - and we've been married for quite some time.

    This whole thing seems setup to be Paul's 'Have Cake And Eat It' fantasy - nothing seems to be good for you or even your wife. Perhaps it's time for both of you to stop thinking with your genitals and use your heart and brains.

    This won't end well, even if Paul's affair doesn't leak out - they usually do - the strain on your relationship and the fact that you seem to get nothing will do nothing but harm.

    Sorry to be so blunt, and I'm sure you will do whatever you feel right. In any event I truly wish you well.

    Deni xxx

  20. Far be it for me, a total stranger, to tell you how to live your life, but i have to agree with some of the other posters that this is a huge risk. Nothing is more important than your marriage to Diane, so are you sure you want to take this risk? Many good marriages have ended by undergoing this scenario. Of course, it fully remains possible that yoh, Diane, and Paul will thoroughly enjoy the experience, so anything's possible. Whatever your decision, make sure you think things through clearly, using logic rather than emotion. Stay strong, gurl, and keep blogging. Enjoy the weekend!!

  21. terri, wow yes, quite a day. Paul's rules, Diane's submission, and the blog revelation! Can't add anything that smart you or others have said, but i wish you good thoughts. hug, sara e

  22. Terri, only you know what's best for you! My life as a cuckold is different from yours and so I have not been in your position so I won't presume to tell you what to do!
    My only advice is to pay attention to your own feelings! Small things now can grow and grow to big things later!
    If it doesn't feel right for you now is the time....submission includes respect for the submissive!

  23. Good Luck in the next step. I hope you do decide to continue to blog, it has been fun reading your progression in this relationship.

  24. Hey Terri - Do what's best for you and Diane. You'll know what's right.

    To everyone else, let me just add a couple of things.

    As Americans like to say "Get a grip!" Everyone's entitled to their opinion but let's be serious. This guy Paul seems pretty intelligent. Are his demands outrageous. Absolutely not. He's got a wife who's mostly dominant but has a sub streak in her. She's got a submissive (100%) sissy husband. Who wants a wimpy bull?

    As far as the breach in confidence. I don't see it that way. The wife's just doing her best to find a way to involve the cuckold. Paul said so himself.

    That's my three cents.