Saturday, September 8, 2012

Cuckold Feelings

A man who's married to a dominant wife gets used to being submissive in a variety of ways.  In fantasy, those ways are all sexually related.  In real life, they're not.  You defer to the wife in virtually all things; financial decisions, decisions about the home, domestic tasks, etc.  i could go on and on.  It doesn't always start out that way but at least in my case as Diane became more dominant, She used that leverage so that She eventually had total control.  It's not always easy.

The tradeoff of course is the pleasure a submissive gets from being sexually submissive to his dominant wife.  When you discover those kinks, fetishes and fantasies with which you feel so comfortable, it's a special feeling.  i'm comfortable with myself, living as Diane's "wife" or sissy husband.  She enjoys it also.  But again, since Her pleasure is what is of utmost importance, this too is not always easy.

When FemDom in a marriage evolves and the next step involves cuckolding, the dynamic changes dramatically.  The first time i was a cuckold, i didn't even know about it.  Diane was just plain cheating on me.  We survived, and i'm glad we did.  This time, it's totally different in the i know all about Her relationship with Brian.  Brian just doesn't know that i know.  In some ways, Diane is using him just as much as some people here think She's using Her submissive husband.

i had a difficult week emotionally.  i'm not in depression or anything like that, but just the same i am struggling with how this has evolved.  i'm jealous of what Diane has with Brian.  She tells me it's Her way of being satisfied by a real man, even though She loves what a sissy like me can provide for Her.  While i'm jealous, i also want more.

i read some cuckold blogs where the submissive husband plays a much more active role in their wife's pleasure.  They aren't hidden away like a crazy uncle in the attic when visitors come over.  As much humiliation they endure it seems like in the end, they enjoy their roles.  i want that.  i am craving it right now.

i enjoyed another creampie from Diane this week.  This time, i waited patiently at home while She and Brian made love in a local hotel room.  Rather than have him come over, She said it wouldn't work and that he would have to get a room.  She also told him she couldn't spend the night.  She could have if She wanted to, but She said She wanted to be with me instead.

When She got home Wednesday night, She made me lick Her wet panties.  There was a trace of Brian's juices on the panties but not that much.  i got to taste more of it when i was made to clean Her.

i'm glad She spent the night with me and not because i got to clean  up another creampie.

i'm happy because She wanted to be there.  She had a choice of staying in Her lover's room and making love throughout the night.  Instead, She chose me:  Her sissy cuckold husband who would also make Her feel good, but in a totally different way.

It made me feel special and important.

25 comments:

  1. Oh terri! This is really getting hot honey! So, so hot! You are fully cucked. Cleaning Brian's sperm from Diane's pussy. I hope soon she introduces him to you so that you can fluff him for her. So much for you I wish that.

    Hugs & kisses,

    Leeanne

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    Replies
    1. Leeanne,

      Thank you honey. Interesting that you say i am fully cucked. Diane mentioned that i may never be a full cuckold in Her view, since Brian doesn't know that i know about their thing. As you know, part of me wants to try that, but part of me is scared.

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  2. Dear terri,
    I'm happy for you that Diane is leading you deeper into your submission to her, and that she showed her love for you by coming home to be with you. While she may adore the feel of Brian's manly cock, your dedication and focus on her pleasure are irreplaceable.
    marissa

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    Replies
    1. Marissa,

      That's very sweet of you to say. Dominant women may appear cruel to some, but when there's love, it's pretty evident. i have no doubt Diane loves me.

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  3. Well, Given how you feel, the moment she decides to not come back... run.... and run fast
    at that moment she has decided who she really loves...

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous,

      i doubt that will ever happen.

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  4. "i'm happy because She wanted to be there. She had a choice of staying in Her lover's room and making love throughout the night. Instead, She chose me: Her sissy cuckold husband who would also make Her feel good, but in a totally different way.

    It made me feel special and important. "

    And in the end... isnt that what any of us really want? to be special to our beloved...

    Very happy to read this, especially with what you are going through internally. While i am not in your situation, i can certainly sympathize with all the conflicting sissy emotions and at least for me... uncontrollable sissy mood swings.

    When i feel like everything is closing in... a little bit of cuddle time with my Owner (even in the virtual world of Second Life) can be enough to make me feel special and loved too. A good owner knows this... and will keep her pet satisfied in this way at least... because, as every good owner knows... the real power is in the gift of submission that the sub provides the Dom.

    Kudos to Miss Diane for showing you the love that you need at this delicate time. My heart swells for you today terri. Very happy for you :)

    **kisses!**

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    Replies
    1. nicolette,

      thanks for a very lovely comment. i think you are exactly right when you talk about how a good owner knows how to keep their pet satisfied. We are the same aren't we?

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  5. Thanks for the great post. As someone who only wishes he were being cuckolded, I really like reading posts about emotions...about what a cuckold is feeling!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you gary. Sometimes the feelings are hard to express and they don't always come out right. Glad you enjoy.

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  6. I'm glad you are sharing your emotions about how the real world plays out. Thank you so much... and best wishes!
    Sara

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  7. Hello terri,

    you found wonderful ways to describe what I actually fear about cuckold... it's not that I'm jealous about the sex, but jealous that my wife would love me less that her lover.

    I'm very happy to read that she spend the night with you - I understand how important this is - though I understand that you would allow her anything else to ... I hope that I will reach that point to, where I am willing and able to step back and accept any of my mistress's wishes.

    All my best wishes,
    Sissy

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    Replies
    1. Just Sissy,

      There is always that fear and, even though She may decide to spend a night with Her lover, probably doesn't mean She loves me any less. Just the same, there are always those insecurities.

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  8. I am not ccked and not looking to be. I love your post and especilly Jake. Now I used to have BF . I do miss him now and then. The Mrs. however enjoys being MR. I am totalaly hers and love serving her/him. in all ways possible
    .Love my life
    M

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    1. marilysturn,

      Seems like it works for you pretty well. If the Mrs. takes on the Mr. role and makes you happy...why not!!!

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  9. Hello Teri
    Are you still seeing Jake? I do not know how far you plan on going with the cuckold/ sissy thing but, if you plan on going further , you should think about taking female hormones. This will help you out emotionaly, I know it makes me feel much more relaxed and intune with my female self. I think Diane would become much closer with you as a girlfriend and you would enjoy Jake more. Just a thought

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous,

      Yes, i am seeing Jake. Hormones aren't in my future. i don't know much about them and Diane has never mentioned them.

      hugs and kisses

      sissy terri

      Delete
  10. terri,
    i love your blog. While i'm not cucked, i have been submissive to my Wife for many years. If i may ask if, on Ms Diane's "date nights", are you required to serve Her prior to Her date with Brian, i.e. bathing Her, shaving Her, washing/brushing Her hair, laying out Her clothing etc. Nothing makes me feel more submissive than kneeling naked and bathing my Mistress!

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    1. sub_server,

      i do tend to Diane at times prior to the date nights, all depending on the logistics of where we are, where they are meeting, etc.

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  11. Sweetie,

    Just because you're a cuckold, don't you ever, ever, ever think you are not special to Diane. Be proud of who you are!

    Suzanne

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    1. Ms. Suzanne,

      That is an awesome comment and much appreciated. i am proud. i am also humbled that You took the time to comment on my blog!!!!

      Respectfully,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  12. That's really sweet that Diane chose to be with you that night. I'm very happy for you honey. I was also pleased to read that you "enjoyed" another cream pie, so you have taken to it like a true sissy slut should! Diane has made you into the cum swallowing whore you always have been inside! I do hope she decides to have you gang banged sometime in the future.

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    Replies
    1. badside,

      i don't think gangbanging is on Her agenda!....thank goodness.

      hugs and kisses,

      sissy terri

      Delete
  13. terri,

    First, let me commend you on your blog. Your submissive and feminine feelings are clearly evident by the way you write. I have to agree with Suzanne in some ways. My own submissive is very special to me. Not sure if he should be proud of being a sissy, but.....there are worse things...lol.

    Good luck to you and Diane.

    Ms. Carol

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    1. Ms. Carol,

      So many thanks for your comment. i love Your blog also and your thoughts here also make me feel special and proud.

      Respectfully,

      sissy terri

      Delete